Saturday, October 27, 2007

Kabhie.. Kabhie..

i rolled over from my bed and tried to feel the floor. It seemed that i had to cover some more distance to touch the floor, i felt like i was just floating in air , i didnt bother to open my eyes and see what is happening around me. At some moment i felt like i was falling rather than floating, however it doesnt make any difference as long as there is nothing below me, so i assumed the free fall to be a float. There was a drizzle, it came from below me , droplets of water hit my back , they spread in the mesh of threads of my shirt , i rolled over to feel them on my face. I still didnt bother to wake up and see whats happening. Why would rain come from beneath, does that mean i was rising with my head turned towards the ground?

Ignorance is bliss. I enjoyed the bliss, but the very habit of dissecting the seemingly irrational couldnt put my mind to sleep. So i continued, if i was rising towards the sky , i would soon be into the clouds where all the rains come from, so i would go splash into the clouds where there would be tankers of water which let out rain like water out of porous hose. But wait , that is like a fairy tale, clouds are just a collection of water vapour and other gases, so where will i reach at the end. Will i go to the sun, how hot will it be- And just then , i went splash into water, i could feel everything around me though i still chose to be blind. It was a sky of water, i could feel it by the way water rushed into my ears and the way i gushed out bubbles from my nostrils, still nothing seemed to be wrong, no science seemed to applying here. This time, i was neither drowning , nor floating , i was travelling. I knew i carried a smile on my face, that the water couldnt wash away. I tried to move as if in sleep, i folded myself inwards, the speed of my travel doubled. It was as if someone was sucking an ocean from behind my back. I was racing against water. And suddenly, i was thrown out of it, I was like a pole vault athlete at the highest point of projectile, a dolphin that was trying to just go a wee bit above water but actually went so high and so fast that it reached escape velocity, i was whirled out and i could feel the warmth now, but it didnt seem like the sun. It was warm enough to keep my smile intact- And just then, Gravity took over. I started to free fall, and i felt that i was in closed doors, I slowed down as if i was landing somewhere, i started to dislike it , i thought of finding out this time-

And then , the phone rings -" Kabhie, Kabhie Mere dil mein" , before it went any further , i rushed my hand into the pocket and cut it off- "Nice tune by the way " said the prof.
I said to myself "shit".

P.S : My phone is silent for almost 90% of the time that i dont remember whats my ring tone. But few times when it actually rang , it had the attention of everyone- unfortunately, they were in , Dean's Office ,Library and Class room. The dream part was the other problem i am facing these days in classes- dozing off(ofcourse, thats because i dont sleep the night before)

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Two sides of a coin

Happy Days: Rewind and Review-2

First of all, Shekhar Kammula is one of the most sensible film makers we have around, even though he loses himself in trying to force some geeky stuff thats totally irrelevant.

Lot of moments in life are very sensitive and delicate , they are very difficult to reproduce on screen . Shekhar kammula is one of those who does it with perfection. Happy days comes around as one of those of his movies where the audience slip into their past and relate with the characters. Fitting in 4 years of time in 3 hrs is not at all easy , and to portray innumerable instances of college makes it much more complicated. Though i watched it online, i could figure out the execution in terms of cinematography was perfect. Music is outstanding and Lyrics are the best that i have heard in the recent past.

The scenes on lead pair are a treat to watch. Characters of Rajesh and Tyson have been scripted very interestingly.And needless to say , Shekhar somehow manages to walk through the complicated thought process of the fairer sex. May be this is the first time that i have sat down to criticise a film. Shekhar somehow got into the wrong idea of College days are all about love, he does talk about friendship, but its clear that the concept of love takes over in every alternate scene. Its difficult to depict other issues in college, but it seemed to be misfit when you show the protaganist talking about how he feels about his lady-love throughout the movie and suddenly realises that he has nothing to do in life and then the principal comes to rescue and says "You are a leader". And Wipro doesnt actually offer jobs just like that, i know that everybody gets placed on-campus, one doesnt need to rush it through as done in the movie. I mean , the way Rajesh gets a job is ridiculous,(atleast the screenplay is not comparable with the award winning Dollar Dreams).

The geeky stuff is an absolute misfit most of the times. There could have been more strength in the movie if at all it had some more story and an interesting screenplay. After three intelligent movies, shekhar some how couldnt associate with more factors than women and love. But i am happy that he had made his mark at last at the box-office. He struggled for a long time to come so far.

Happy Days :Rewind and Review

Many told me that watching Happy Days would take one back to the college days and reminisce every thing. Yes it did do the same to me. So , i will let my fingers fly.
We did all of those , the great JNTU Salute, Pledge (there were times when i could recite it in sleep, and if it was to shown on screen , you will have a beep for 2 minutes) , propose to girls , collect biodata,dancing at the bus stops, Midnight Assemblies and some wierd games that i cant describe here. The claustrophobic hostels had more than anyone can think of. And then we had classes , and we had the long mass bunk , that made the admin wonder and send a letter to everyones home. It was the time when we learnt to read anything and everything in one night. It was very easy.There are many processes in college that had been there since years , those actually doesnt make much difference to anyone's life, Classes, Exams , Grades , Admin , Faculty etc , Its always those things that are very dynamic that make a lot of difference. And the most Dynamic one's are human beings. Ok, I will cut the jargon - Friends.

4 years is a long time , let's do some calculation : imagine that your memory started record things since you are of the age 5, so by the time you end your college, you would be 21 .So , a total of 16 years of memory, 4 years in that counts to 25% of the life till that point. These 4 years happen at a single place with a fixed set of population (except for th inflow of juniors and outflow of seniors). So whatever we do there has a strong impact on life. Everyone finds their group of friends from these fixed set of people. But the fun again is people never remain the same, they change. Just within those 4 years , one will see life as a sample . And everyone after coming out of college gets a shattering shock that they are all alone to face the reality.

My Room No in XLRI is 301, I was wondering the about the connection with the flat 6 of us shared in engineering , it was 301 Vijaya Raghava Resdency , Chandanagar, Hyderabad. We managed to find it for a meagre rent of 1600 per month. What i experienced there would be like a memory that has been bound in book. Its difficult to manage people , not in the managerial sense but on a personal note, everyone gets so connected or obsessed with something or someone and that forms a long chain of bonding that crisscrosses within itself. I managed to write about everyone i met in my college in a very inetersting way (cannot post it here) . But looking back , i would say that meeting everyone of them was a privilage and pleasure. Many people speak about having good friends , friends who are perfect and stuff. But that would be asking for an utopia, the difference is all what contributes to the drama. It has been 2 and half years since all of us walked out of that place called college and even though i still struggle to stay in touch with everyone, the news that someone of us is doing well in life spreads happiness across everyone.

I thought of writing so many things that i forgot most of them. But College is not actually about absolute happy days. Its like coming to know that when you jump high and land on the wrong foot, you will get hurt and you will bleed , and it will pain if you dont have someone with you. Yes, i will have to make it a point here as most of the movies make sure that their story revolves around this topic - girls . I would have rather called it love, but let it be so, i dont mind being MCP sometimes. This is where a lot of equations change , this is where the illusion of adoloscence comes in. I dont want to give any gyaan on it but i have been a biographer of many such stories, i know how people feel in it. They go mad with happiness and then they go mad.

As i lost track , i will end the post with some incidents i can remember that are just some things to cherish in college. I wish i could film these scenes . (Names have been changed )

"Rajesh hands over the letter, and says "Please read it " . (From a long shot) She walks away and kiran calls up sameer who is waiting at the gate and says "she is coming towards the gate, she is openeing the letter, for now the expression is ok, try to have good look". Sameer says " Ya , i got her , she is coming this way, she is almost done with later, just hold on " . Kiran :" Hello , you there? , what is she doing now, is she smiling ? hello , you there" Sameer: "She smiled"

Kondal bowled the last ball. Batsman manged to connect and pushed it down to long on, it was almost done. They hurried the first run , and then quickly to the second , sharath picked up the ball and threw it to the bowlers end. Sunil removed the bails and there were celebrations. Kondal was still confused about who won , it was tie and we won as we had less wickets. It was rematch , the previous match was also tied.

" Fuck you, no one is going to say sorry , go to hell "
Prasad walked on to the raj as he tried to pick up a brick and throw , prasad dodged and gave full thrust blow on his face.

Everyone assembled in the fields near our flat at midnight and he explained all that thought about her.

We turned the volume high and started singing all at a time "Woooooooh Lamheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee "

Everyone got on to the stage and did some insane dance honoring our shankardada. And we were on paper the next day.

X signals to Y , just by moving an eyeball, they both feel thirsty at the sametime and go to have a glass of water. There happens a transaction of atleast 20 marks.

Sunil was totally drunk, i was supposed to take care of him, he is not even peeing in the right direction. I left him in the other to sleep and as we were continuing with the party , he walked in and went straight to rahul and slapped him.

"Leave the seat"--"Why" -- "Idiot , dont you get it, see that she sits here"

"He is not here yet, he should catch the next bus" and then , the bus starts to move , he is seen at the far end of the road holding a bag in one hand and drafter in the other. Turns the bag around and straps it round his back, bus accelarates,and this where you can understand the newtons principles of relative frames. He pushes hard aginst the ground and cuts through the crowd at the bus stop and almost reaches the rear of the bus as the driver changes gear. He throws the drafter to his friend in the bus and reaches out to the railing and gets on to the bus as his friend pulls him up with one hand. He gasps for breath, smiles and asks "did we get the movie tickets".

P.S: Review in next Post.

Friday, October 19, 2007


Ok, this will be a quick one , but can be a long one. The post might turn a bit disturbing as you read through , so take ur call and click on the top right most button on your window if you cant handle reality.I know thats not the right thing to say to a person who had taken the effort to type and come to this window , but that works in Marketing :)

OK, this post is not about Marketing , its not about beauty that you would be thinking about.

I just finished watching American Beauty , Absolutely great film. I was one of those who dissected its poster when it won the Best Film award in 2000, but didnt bother to watch it as it didnt have any relation to gladiator.

The point is why dont we make such movies. Some one would say , "we are perfect , we have a strong tradition and culture that we have been abiding by since ages " . Well if i can borrow some thing from the British to answer that - i would say "Bollocks"

We are a bunch of hypocrites like any one in the world. The fact that we dont accept that, takes us to a different level . My perception of the USA was always through movies, the slightest temptation i had to go to the states, was to cross check my perceptions. To me , America was a Land of opportunities , where people rampantly carried guns (and had a great style in using), its a place where the people below poverty line own a car , a place of different cultures, out of which none can be claimed as thier own, a place where its wierd if you just married once in your life , its so wierd that you will be the most liked character in the movie , unfortunately 90% of the audience have been divorced atlest once.Its a place where all the business is , all the technology is , all the army is . Its where corporates are supposed to ruthlessley loot the third world countries , and they have a great number of ways of doing those , like they are sucking the countries through some pipes laid under the pacific and atlantic, Hollywood is fortunate
enough to have lot of stories to make movies about. And , Its a place where i think , one can find the most number of psycho-killers, drug addicts (this need not be true, this is just my perception based on the movies). And you can find people like Will Hunting too (Hope i find one person like that).

Oh ya, i forgot to mention , its a place where there are fair enough chances for anyone who had landed from even the jungles of africa or some god-forsaken place of the world - to get laid within a week.

Now, that is America . The movie American Beauty started off giving me an impression that it was portraying all the psychological dysfunctionalities that exist in their world. But the best part is , it daringly does all that and surprisingly manages to say "Chill dude ! This is reality".

Ok, now, just click and hold the left button on your mouse on the globe that google earth shows, move sideways from USA to India. When Mohan Bhargav dared to counter the village head's preposterous presumption that India is a great nation that has a tradition since ages, i said to myself "Wow". As i said , the worst thing with us is that we dont accept even the bad thing. Now , i am not suggesting anyone to keep whining about our problems and insecurities everyday, but we thwart anyone who comes out to say " We too do wierd things" . No one dares to mention the penchant that Gandhi had for sex even at the age of 13-14 . For every one person who tries to be a non-conformist , there are atleast ten faceless organisations who are ready to wash them away along with their footprints.Watch Parzania for some daring effort.

We have one of the stupidest notion of society absolutely obsessed with the notion of "relative grading". Its like saying "My individuality is defined on the basis of my neighbours individuality". "Excuse me, did i hear individuality". Parents do everything for their child so that they are better than our neighbhours . Some lakhs of students take competitive exams in india for whom the basic reason is "someone else is taking it" My friend mentioned this to me- Pavan Verma mentions in his book The great Indian middle class that India is the only country where the number of people taking an exam increases with the difficulty in passing that exam.I dont need to answer why. We think that there are no extra-marital affairs in our country , everyone loves everone , no drugs , nothing.

Imagine this , suddenly , you wake up one day and the whole society vanishes , you are all alone by yourself . Then you will feel as good as dead , because you dont have anyone above to whine about and no one below to brag about yourself. We have enough number of insecurities, we hide them within us and go through a torture that we hypocritically call patience. And this patience is irrationally linked to the traditions and so generations are tied together to follow the trend.
We have more number of cultures than America and we claim to be our own and still we end up hating each other. We seek identity by tring to eliminate diversity , but still we hold up the big bill board "Unity in Diversity" .We have the wierdest crimes and factions that are sensationalised in the media.

Well i have lost track of what i wanted to write.I will end it here.Let me bring down the intensity with P.S . These mite be long as well.
P.S 1: The post was not meant to say that we are screwed up, but the point we over dramatise and under-act on any of our troubles is because we refuse to acknowldge them.
P.S 2: When i have read such writings, first things that popped up in my mind were , "Whats this guys problem in life ? " . Well, I just got inspired by the movie, thats all.
P.S 3: Just as a diversion from serious things , Was awake for one whole night and then went to classes next day, God, TAS form took so long. One of my friend answered for the question "What is your short term goal" - "to earn lots of money", thats to prove that there is some honesty left in this place beyond all the gas.
P.S 4: We managed to get away with the least scoldings in MCN class. (Will blog about it later)P.S 5: There were some posts earlier on my blog which i realised later that it was a too daring an act for me to have it on my blog. I deleted one post by myself and my friend convinced me that the other post was worth to be there on the blog. In other words , he said "stop being a hypocrite".
P.S 6:I would like to end it with some quotes from American Beauty - Oh! Before that , Long Live Kevin Spacey.
P.S 7 :Quote1- "Its a great thing when you discover that you have the ability to surprise yourself , makes u wonder what else you could do that you have forgotten about."
P.S 8: This dialogue comes as a voice over after kevin spacey dies , oops! , i spilled out the plot, dont worry , he tells it in the first dialogue that he is going to die. Thats the beauty of screen play. Ok, the dialogue " I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty
in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."
"P.S9 : Glossary : Janie- his daughter , carolyn - his wife . And if you dont know who Mohan Bhargav is , Go to hell , but watch Swadesh before going.
P.S10 : To those who have taken trouble to read this line - Thank You and thats all folks.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Superheroes, Guilt and Girlfriends

I just finished watching Batman Begins. That completes the set of Christopher Nolan’s films(I don’t when did he make Insomnia, yet to see that) . First of all, Christopher Nolan is one of those guys who should have gone to science school and I am sure he would have invented Time-machine by now. He just can not make movies without going back and forth in time . If you have to watch his movies , better get some brains along with you.

Now, let me justify the title . Inspite of all the effort that Christopher Nolan had put in to make the movie different from what a conventional superhero story is, he couldn’t change two things – Guilt and Girlfriend.

Every super hero has guilt as his Achilles heel . Why is this so? Well the only reason I can come up with is this – Superhero is supposed to be invincible , he is immune to all the accidents , weapons and everything , in the worst cases he has ultra modern technology to save himself , so the only thing that can kill him or torture him should come from within him . And so , the answer is Guilt . As I generally generalize , “Guilt I believe is the most dangerous feeling that turns even the strongest human being into a very vulnerable one” . Well I am not talking about superheroes in that quote.

Now , what is it with the girl friends ? Yes , of course , Spiderman wouldn’t sell at the box-office without the upside-down kiss , nor would superman without the free ride in the clouds , with a bonus kiss. But its again how weak the super strong superhero’s character turns into as his dearest love leaves him. He always has problems with wooing his girl. He can swing across streets, save her on the verge of slipping down the precipices , take a point-blank shot into the eye , carry a boeing and place it in a baseball field , but if its romance time – they become duds . If I generalize that girlfriends turn people vulnerable , I know that my blog will be pulled down. But other wise , I think superheroes are loners in their disguised identity and so they become more susceptible to things like love and care. And as usual , girls are always the right thing to go for to have a longer script , as their minds are the mothers of pendulums. They come and go and come and go and so on – I mean come on – Its been 3 movies from spiderman, and mary jane had been in out of our hero’s life for more than 6 times. Anyway , I think one more assumption is , girls are much more difficult to woo than bringing down a Supervillian and for that , one’s superpowers also fall short. They just cant stop asking for better .

Ok, before I write anymore and get blacklisted , I will end with the traditional P.S .

P.S1 : More forms are coming in , and I slept for 10 hours today. (If anyone is reading this blog for the first time , I am in a B-School)
P.S2: Groupthink and creativity cannot co-exist, atleast for me.
P.S3: There has been a grade inflation.
P.S4:Question- “ Every leader has a sense of purpose, what is your statement of purpose” – First answer that strikes to mind – “Not Applicable”
P.S5: Its 5:00 am and the only light in my room is from my lappy , so a lot of green bugs are just hovering on the screen and some committed suicide by diving into the chasms of my keyboard before I tried to shoo them away, which means, I should turn it off and go to bed.
P.S6 : I just wrote a 650+ word blog , I would have finished the TAS form – that doesn’t happen because it has a deadline till 16th.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Oktoberfest, SIP and Goddamn Sleep

This might be my post after coming back here, and i realised that the holidays had made my life hell as i now cant handle a day with less than 7 hrs sleep. Thats Insane!! . Not for the present class schedule , but for all the events i get involved and the occasional random things i do , like checking videos on Youtube, ads on Adverbox and sometimes reading class books.

The second term actually seems very interesting , it has a lot of time for liesure in a day. The point is , i tend to screw up things when i am given a option to choose from choices , I know thats not what a gonna-be manager shud be saying. But thats how it is. I have started to sleep in class, not actually sleeping but i try my level best to not to fall asleep. But this so called 'try' from the eyes of a 3rd person looks like as if i am fighting between life and death. I wriggle my face every 5 minutes as if to cast away the looming shadow of sleep from my face, and then i rub my eyes for atleast a minute non-stop, until they go red and then the trade mark yawn - the other day , i felt so embarrassed that i was yawning big time infront of a prof who is supposed to be the coolest of the lot. I was sitting right under his nose and executing the afore mentioned gestures. I couldnt stand the self embarrasment and so bunked the next class. I guess that was my first voluntary bunk.

And i was doing almost the same thing, this time though , i was in the last bench, this was what one of my friends asked me " you seemed as if there was something extremely wrong with you, your eyes were red, you face was long and you were absolutely uncomfortable" . I was doing al l this when the marketing prof was shouting at the top of his voice.

Ya, the Oktoberfest, the last minute preparation and execution of the Dracula Event went on well. I somehow feel that there are so many areas of our brain that are asleep for a long time, when they came alive its a rejuvenating experience. I now regret my inability to keep up with quizzing after 10th class. God!! there was loads of knowledge that i went blind to. Anyway, i am enjoying being a learner again by being in the audience in every quiz . I guess , i shud start getting qualified sooner or later.Every other thing that happened in oktoberfest was a proper food for thought. Now , i feel that i shud have been more involved in than what i was. And i realised that there are a lot of good writers on campus. Need to learn from them too and catch up with them.

Now the big thing, The SIP , I think this where the whole batch is tested for everything it claims to be, not on the standards of their intellect , but on their ability to withstand the vicissitudes of fate . My supposedly Mar-Focus has also been diluted for now by the senior's suggestions as they say " When you are being picked arbitly, you can't pick them systematically" . So it seems that i will have to take every chance. I dont know how heavy is my CV . But the talk over a CV had already gone beyond normal or even abnormal.

Above all this, i am writing something which i think might turn out to be a very good original if executed well. But there will be a lot of push and pull in the next one month atleast till the SIP to keep thiongs in order. Whatever may happen, i am still worried about one very precious thing - SLEEP .

Its 3 am and i have a class at 8 30, in case i come back to this blog after a few years - Its Fr.Jesu's class tomorrow.

P.S1: I feel like studying Biomechanics to know whats happening to my teeth.
P.S2: P&G and TAS forms to fill.
P.S3: Prasanna says he sleeps for 2-3 hrs a day. WTF. Is he human.
P.S4:JAM is fun , though i did it only once and got swept out easily. As i said already there are many smart things to do.
P.S5: ID crisis is a clear outcome of one's own perception, but no one can help it.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Absolute Happiness :D

God!! There are very few times when i blogged when i was absolutely happy. I have a class tomorrow at 8 30 in the morning , where i will break my back sitting straight for 90 mins. Whatever be tomorrow , I will blog today.
Everytime, i saw the phone ring with prasanna's name on it , i just prayed that i would hear "Mama , Job Vachindhi ra" . I dont know, how we live together with people and become a part of each others lives. I have seen good things happening to closest of my friends, and when those things are least expected but most anticipated , those would be the most memorable moments. Prasanna called me at 6 or so when i was going blind over arranging groups of Financial Management. I thought, this time i would definitely hear it , well i had to wait, he had one more interview to attend. But , i got the call that i wanted at 12 o clock and i heard exactly what i wanted to.Like the cliche -'I cant express my happiness in words' , but i somehow had a quick recap of all the 6 years we both spent together, it was like a walk back down the rose garden of memories. I felt for the first time that i was very far away from people , so far away that we couldnt meet each other in the happiest moments . One of the main reasons , i am writing this is to remember the moment. I couldnt document a similar moment when Sandeep's onsite was confirmed. May be, the reason that i was part of their lowest times of life makes me realise how happy they would be feeling about all this.

Well, i wont make the moment any more boring by writing more about it.
Would just say again, I am more than happy today.

P.S : I realise now , how happy people felt when i atlast got into a B-School . And i reacted so dumbly.